Complaining committee

I’ve recently moved into a strata building as a renter. I’m a single parent to two school-aged children and have never before encountered any problems with neighbours in the 5+ years I’ve been renting flats in this situation.

Anyway, a few weeks after moving in I receive a very hostile/borderline aggressive email from the strata manager informing me that I’ve breached numerous by-laws by having the odd item outside the door of my flat (such as a pot plant or a mini scooter – practically on the doorstep and in no way blocking anyone’s access to anything, and only placed there while I was getting unpacked and settled in) and by letting my children play in the stairwell.

I have two things to say about this: one, that I didn’t realise it was an offence to leave a small personal item on my own doormat, and two, that I haven’t made a habit of letting my kids play in the stairwell. I’ve lived in flats before where everyone left bits and pieces on their doormats at times and it was never an issue…

One day I was sick, had an afternoon nap and woke up to find the kids playing on the stairs –  they know they’re not allowed to do this (the noise really travels in this building) and I totally respect the right of any neighbour to be irritated by the racket they were inevitably making before I hauled them in. But to put things in perspective, it was the middle of the afternoon and it was just the one time. It’s not as though it happens every day.

I’ve written and apologised for the inconvenience of the kids being in the common area and assured them it won’t happen again. I’ve also explained about the stuff-outside-the-door business, that my understanding of the relevant by-law was that this was only an issue if it’s causing an obstruction, but either way sure, I won’t do that anymore. For the record other residents occasionally leave similar things such as umbrellas, strollers etc outside their doors so it’s not as though it should have been obvious I was breaking some sacred rule.

They also tried to say I breached a by-law relating to rubbish dumping by these ‘practices’. I objected to that as it is completely, indisputably false.

Anyway – so that’s all fine now I think. It’s just that I know that my immediate right-hand neighbour was the one driving the complaints, and I’m not sure how to deal with this person now. I know because my friends on the strata committee told me, and also because this person is the only owner on my level, who could have seen the items outside the door and taken that to the committee. The rest are renters and I get along great with them. This owner-neighbour says hello, but would never engage in further conversation or invite you in for tea. Not that kind of friendly neighbour.

I hate feeling like someone who lives centimetres away from me dislikes us, or that my kids are unwelcome here. There are two other families with children in the block, and one of those kids in particular can be extremely noisy when coming & going, but no more so than the other neighbour that plays the piano and sings his heart out, or the young people who regularly have late-night social gatherings, etc. It’s all part of high density living. Interestingly, the neighbour who was so quick to complain about my kids has never complained about the others, who have been here many years – but their families own their apartments and are on the same committee.

Should I let it be, with my slight festering resentment that this person didn’t even give me the opportunity to rectify the ‘situation’ by talking to me, but instead ran straight to the committee and then reported me to the real estate? Or should I try speaking to them, perhaps even leave a note opening up the option of conversation to clear the air? Like I said, I respect their right to be annoyed if my kids were bothering them, I just feel a little violated that they didn’t even show me enough respect to speak to me about it first. Not to mention turning the extremely trivial matter of a few small items outside a door into a formal complaint. I mean honestly.

I like to get on with people, and I am a reasonable human being…just wish they’d spoken to me first so we could sort it out ourselves. Now I feel paranoid that every little thing we do is going to prompt a complaint . It’s a shame because I absolutely love this flat!