Strata’s seething, sticky, scheming sneaks

Get this, all you quarter-acre-blockers: most apartment dwellers are mostly happy most of the time.

In the last year, Consumer Affairs Victoria received around 7900 enquires but little more than 300 complaints about or from apartment residents. That works out at somewhere south of one in a thousand unit dwellers who were irritated enough to pick up the phone to complain about their neighbours.

In NSW there were 14,000 enquiries but only 247 actual complaints – despite about 600,000 people living in some sort of strata there.

OK, but we all know there are those who prefer to suffer in silence.  They enjoy a good whinge but would never do anything about it.  Here’s an instant guide to the grumbling classes and hopw to deal with them.

THE SEETHER:  This irritable owner mutters under his or her breath, glares at perceived (but oblivious) miscreants and complains in private, usually to people who can’t do anything about it. Denying themselves any release, their irritation builds until they end up exploding in public, often over a trivial issue that has nothing to do with what’s really irking them. TACTIC:  Light blue touch paper and stand well back.

THE SNEAKER: This voyeuristic creature peeks in windows and rakes through garbage to find evidence of … well, they don’t know what until they’ve found it.  TACTIC:  Leave a dog food can in a garbage bag with a discarded envelope identifying you. Enjoy hours if not weeks of fun as they try to dob you in for having a dog that doesn’t exist. (NB:  This is not a good tactic if you actually have a dog.)

THE STICKER:  Notes on doors, lifts, cars and even the noticeboard are how this grumbler lets the world know they’re unhappy – albeit anonymously.  You can’t negotiate with them because you don’t know who they are. TACTIC:  Scrawl a smiley face on the note – that drives them mad.

THE SCHEMER: Somebody needs to take action – as long as it’s not them. First they fire you up with their sense of injustice and their alarmingly creative conspiracy theories, then they prod you to lead the attack on whoever for whatever.  TACTIC:  Tell them to list all the complaints in writing.  They’ll think it’s a conspiracy to trap them and you’ll never hear from them again.

Know these people?  Are you one of them? There’s more HERE