I think we have been down this road before.
Your reluctance to consult or hire a strata lawyer is ham-stringing your ability to resolve many of the issues in your seriously dysfunctional scheme.
In your shoes, I would be asking an experienced strata lawyer if the following action was viable.
To go to NCAT and challenge any unfair by-laws under section 150 of the Act on the grounds that they were oppressive, unconscionable or discriminatory.
I would also ask NCAT to rule, under Section 232, that the model Schedule 3 by-laws be adopted in their entirety (having decided which of the pet and smoking by-laws you prefer).
I would also ask that all costs for this action be charged back to the developer because he has created this untenable situation.
OR
You could seek the compulsory appointment of a strata manager of your choice for a period of six months with the specific remit to sort out the finanicial status of the scheme and to introduce and register the model by-laws.
Your developer is a bully who treats you, your neighbours and strata law with contempt – this would soon become apparent at an NCAT tribunal.
But it won’t if you don’t take the first step and don’t cave in whenever the developer offers a compromise which only continues this ridiculous travesty.
Apply for mediation as a first step (unless you go for a compulsory appointment) and hold your ground.
And talk to a lawyer!
Alternatively, ring up your local paper, explain how this bully is ruining your lives (in very simple terms or they won’t understand) and see if he can be shamed into behaving himself.