In last week’s newsletter we told you that the Independent Commission Against Corruption (ICAC) Rosny hearings into the dubious dealings of political fixers and property developers were the hottest ticket in town, like a season of the Sopranos on fast-forward.

After nine weeks and 36 days of public hearings, this show had illegal donations, fugitive developers, bribes, blackmail and secret surveillance, a sinister group of political lobbyists called The Reformers plus some award-worthy performances in the witness box.

In a similar spirit to our showbiz slant, the Sydney Morning Herald’s Matthew Absalom-Wong released his tongue-in-cheek awards for the best and worst performances in the nine-week inquiry. Here’s a taste.

Most absurd answer: Jeremy Greenwood. Two of the lobbyist’s companies paid Anita Perrottet, the former Liberal Premier’s sister-in-law, $660,999 over two and a half years, with no written record of any work. Her contribution, he said, was a “mum’s perspective” on vaping for a big tobacco client.

Grubbiest behaviour: Sharangan Maheswaran. The Toplace executive hired an ex-AFP officer to spy on Strathfield mayor Matthew Blackmore and then police minister David Elliott. The surveillance extended to their families, including Elliott’s sons, who had only just left school.

Honourable conduct: Daniel Mookhey. Maheswaran tried to get the then Labor MP to grill building commissioner David Chandler about entirelyunfounded allegations of attempted bribery. Mookhey refused and reported the approach to ICAC the next day.

Best phone tap: Jean Nassif. Absalom-Wong says, “the fugitive developer easily wins this category for his starring role in about a dozen recordings played to the commission. The calls revealed his vicious personality, and habit of big-noting himself and his influence.”

The expletive-laden intercepted calls showed the fugitive developer insulting Rob Stokes, David Elliott, David Chandler and, most viciously, Gladys Berejiklian. He also boasted that he held half the government’s power. His Zoom call rant to the inquiry was an object lesson in giving an egomaniac enough rope to hang himself.

Best disappearing act: Jean-Claude Perrottet. Avoiding being served with subpoenas for the 2023 Hills Shire Council inquiry, he went to Fiji, with Greenwood paying the $25,000 bill. He came home the day after the inquiry ended.

Star performer: Dr Peggy Dwyer, SC. Counsel assisting took apart witness after witness. Nobody else came close.

Most indignant witness: Anita Perrottet. She seemed astonished to be asked about the $660,999, rejected claims she was lying, and was later seen laughing in the foyer.

Special mention: Dallas McInerney. The former Catholic Schools NSW chief factory-reset his phone and iPad while still sworn in as a witness, blaming an Apple Pay security scare. He has since been sacked.

Have a look at the whole article if you get a chance, if only to see the wheels fall off the clown car that is the extreme right of the NSW Liberal Party.