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Our block of 36 is three levels and three sets of 12 apartments, with all kitchens, toilets-bathrooms facing into a big concrete driveway / walkway. The toilet-bathrooms have frosted glass of course, but from our kitchen we can see three other kitchens and walking down the stairs we could see into all 12 kitchens in our section if they didn’t have blinds.
We have venetian blinds which we keep angled to let light in but stop, for the most, part others seeing in. We believe we’re perfectly normal in wanting a bit of privacy in the kitchen.
But three apartments in our section either don’t have blinds or keep them open the whole time. Weirdly, perhaps, all three are let to young women aged in their 20s or early 30s.
We’re a family of four. It’s embarrassing. Fairly often you see the girls in their bathrobes or something flimsy for lounging around, but a few nights ago one was fussing in the kitchen in her knickers and a t-shirt. They don’t seem to care. They never seem to look out or up to see who’s looking in.
I’m not a peeping tom or a pervert but I feel like one and shouldn’t be made to. It doesn’t seem right. What can we do to get them to put their blinds down, or get some venetians or material blinds which will let light through but avoid embarrassment?
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They have put on a bathrobe or T-shirt when they might be observed, presumably at some distance, through an uncovered window. From your description, the behaviour seems neither unusual nor unreasonable to me. I wouldn’t worry about it.
Hmm, dinner and a show! Either enjoy the celebration of the female body that is going on, or move on. There are far worse things that could be on view.
Knickers and a t-shirt? That “going out” gear here in Kings Cross.
The opinions offered in these Forum posts and replies are not intended to be taken as legal advice. Readers with serious issues should consult experienced strata lawyers.
Be thankful they’re attractive people. You could have me living opposite you wearing my boxers.
There was a lovely old lady a couple of doors up from us who I would see sitting up in bed in her pyjamas when I walked past her unit in the morning to collect the newspaper, about 6m from her bedroom window. It didn’t bother me but I would politely avoid looking in because I did not want to embarrass her. One day she told me to stop doing that because she would much prefer acknowledgement and a friendly wave from a neighbour.
I’m with the OP on this one. I don’t want the distraction and I don’t want to be accused of looking at something I’ve no intention of. It’s more precarious at night if tenants have the lights on and they are preoccupied with whatever they are doing without realizing others can see in. If the Committee won’t drop a casual note to owners reminding of the 2 way viewing it might be something you can do yourself via a (anonymous?) general letter to a few or all mail boxes stating as much.
@Flame Tree said:
…If the Committee won’t drop a casual note … you can do yourself via a (anonymous?) general letter …Why is it the committee’s problem? If only one person is bothered, they might conclude that it is not a matter of reasonable general concern.
Anonymous notes on any topic are unpleasant and can be corrosive of a sense of community. If something is bothering you personally, have the courage of your convictions to put your name to it. Better still, make less of a big deal of it by talking to the people concerned directly next time you see them face to face. You might be pleasantly surprised by their reaction or they might tell you to piss off but you can modulate your response appropriately in real time.
BTW. Lady Humphrey’s immediate reaction to the original post was “This is sexist and it’s about control.”
They are wearing clothes, in a kitchen, what’s the problem? To be honest, if you feel embarrassed, perhaps you need to ask yourself why you feel that way.
I used to live in an apartment where I could see down into another resident’s kitchen. He was very large and unattractive, and the sight of him in briefs was horrendous, but I decided if I raised the issue it would just make it worse.
Which by-law/piece of strata legislation are these people breaching?
In strata sometimes you need to build a bridge & get over it. Close your curtains/blinds & let others live their lives.
In days gone by sensible people would have just shut their blinds enough to still allow light in, but not subject their neighbours to the embarrassment of seeing something they didn’t want to see. Yep, those days are gone and political correctness now means something diametrically opposite to what it meant before. It means doing whatever you damn well like and anybody who doesn’t like it is politically incorrect. “Grace”, “dignity”… there’s no such thing anymore.
And Tharra asks “what by-law/piece of strata legislation are they reaching”. The one that says the block is not a bl–dy commune. How’s that?
Seriously Costa, how do you cope at the beach? Does your complex have a pool, if so how do you deal with that?
The problem is not that your neighbours are wearing their underwear in the privacy of their own home, but that you are invading their privacy.
It is your behaviour that requires modification here, not your neighbour’s.
Get a hobby!
@JWBB said:
It is your behaviour that requires modification here, not your neighbour’s.You’d be surprised at how many people agree with Costa. Nobody want to be, for instance, daydreaming when they are looking out of their own window, only to realise the person across the way thinks they are a Peeping Tom.
Perhaps Costa could send them a friendly note saying that he can see right into their kitchen and sometimes sees more than he would like … just so they know.
The opinions offered in these Forum posts and replies are not intended to be taken as legal advice. Readers with serious issues should consult experienced strata lawyers.
@JimmyT said:
Perhaps Costa could send them a friendly note saying that he can see right into their kitchen and sometimes sees more than he would like … just so they know.Costa, if you do send a note, make sure you put your name and contact details to it. That would minimise the risk that it is taken the wrong way. A young woman on her own getting an anonymous note about her appearance could be seriously creeped out by it.
More generally, I and various of my neighbours have, from experience, an abhorrence of anonymous notes.
Agreed. An anonymous note is almost never friendly.
The opinions offered in these Forum posts and replies are not intended to be taken as legal advice. Readers with serious issues should consult experienced strata lawyers.
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