Regular readers of this website may be wondering two things this week: 1. Why is JimmyT rambling on about being cut off by his bank? 2. Why is there an ad for a crime thriller on the site?

Read on and all will be revealed.

It all started last week when I tried to log into our Macquarie Bank account. A message told me I had been blocked due to security concerns and to call a number provided on the screen.

So I did and had a choice of two numbers to press – 1 if I thought had been scammed in some way or wanted to confirm a transaction and 2 if it was neither of these.  It was neither so I pressed 2 and waited, and waited and waited.

Eventually a nice young woman came on and asked for my bank account number, full name and date of birth, and phone number, for security purposes.  She then said  my account had been flagged for suspicious activity and I would have to call the security team’s number.

Account number

The number she gave was the number I had called in the first place.  I pointed this out and she said, yes but you should have pressed 1. Can’t you get them to call me? I said. She’d try but she didn’t think so.

I called the number and pressed 1 and waited and waited.  Eventually a computer voice came on and said if I wished, they could call me back.  I wished. Later a youngish sounding guy called me and asked me for my bank account number, full name and date of birth and my phone number.

‘You just called me on it,’ I said. 

‘Yes, but I need you to confirm it,’ he said.

‘Wouldn’t it kind of been confirmed when I answered it?’ I said.

He sighed.  I gave him my phone number.

‘Can you confirm a payment you made on July 5 of $660?’ he asked.

‘No, I can’t,’ I said.

‘Aha!’ he said

‘Because you’ve locked me out of my bank account.’

‘Oh,’ he said.

But then it occurred to me to search my emails for $660 and there it was.  A payment to a company that formalises matters for self-managed superfunds.

‘Was it a payment to that company?’ I asked.

‘I can’t tell you,’ he said.

Security reasons

‘Why not?’

‘Security reasons,’ he replied.

And so it went on.  He asked me if anyone I didn’t know had recently asked me for personal details.

‘You mean like, my bank account number, full name, phone number and date of birth?’

‘Exactly,’ he said.

‘You were the second person to do that today.’

Eventually I asked if this transaction had been red-flagged because I did it online when I was in Poland (the online scamming capital of Europe)? No response, again presumably for security reasons.

It turned out the bank had sent me an email saying they thought I might have been scammed. I think I had ignored the email because I thought it was a scam.  And so it goes on. 

I spent hours on the phone being interrogated about my account. At one point they said they were suspicious when I said the highly reputable company that I paid the money to hadn’t called me back. I said it’s had been six weeks and they also hadn’t asked again for the money I’d owed them.

Ironically, if I had lied and said I had checked with the company and it was all good, the bank would have been happy with that.

I’m told Macquarie has become hyper-vigilant because some of their customers have been caught with their pants down security-wise, losing substantial sums through scams (over which the bank has no control).

So now they are super-diligent to the point where they are cutting you off from your accounts and asking for so much information that they sound more like scammers than the scumbags they are trying to protect you from.

I asked them why they hadn’t just called me, before blocking my account, when I didn’t respond to the email. They said it wasn’t their policy,

After six days and four different people asking me for the information we’re told we shouldn’t really be giving over the phone, my account was finally accessible.

Which is good because first chance I get, I will be moving the money to a bank that’s less paranoid and more logical. That’s my policy – don’t deal with people who over-react to problems.

Stolen identities

And what does it have to do with the crime novel promoted here?  Well, Twisted River is by me, writing under my nom de plume.  It’s about a couple who have their identities stolen.

Yes, in an example of life imitating art that’s a little too close to home, they arrive back from holiday to find that their bank accounts are empty, their email addresses blocked, their phones have been cut off and their credit cards have been cancelled.

They can’t get a credit card without a phone for ID confirmation and they can’t get a phone without a credit card. And it gets worse.  Much, much worse.

And what do any of my hassles with Macquarie Bank have to do with strata? The bank holds more strata schemes’ fund that any other financial institution in Australia.  Also, the past week has seen a nation-wide advertising blitz on online security.

But don’t worry. As long as you don’t pay your levies when you are in Poland, you’ll be fine. Probably.

These editorials (or a version of them) go out with our newsletter every Friday. The following week we re-post them here for those who missed out. If you want to get them fresh, just subscribe (for free) below.  – JimmyT