After a long and worrying silence from that troubled apartment complex Dardanelle Towers, this poem dropped in to my email in-tray, just in time for Christmas.

They’ve cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers
The committee debated for hours and hours
Until they issued this decree
This year there’ll be no Christmas tree
A twinkling fir in our foyer
Is definitely not Okay
According to those that be the powers
They’ve cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers

They’ve cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers
We thought because the building’s ours
We could stick up anything we liked
But the Christmas tree idea was spiked
Apparently it’s not PC
To have a fairy on a tree
Lady Luckby had to have her say
She said a fairy’d look quite … gay
But there’ll be no tree or festive flowers
They’ve cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers

They’ve cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers
Another victory for the wowsers
The chair said we need sensitivity
When it comes to the nativity
Lady Luckby, with Elena fixed in her vision
Said Muslims should try to respect our traditions
Elena, Lebanese, said “I’m Christian too”
“Muslims can be Christians?” says Lady L. “Who knew?”
But it was red tape not religion that turned so sour
As to cancel Christmas at Dardanelle Towers

They’ve cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers
Mr Wilson said tree lights were a drain on the power
Then there’s the danger from small girls and boys
Tripping on tinsel as they fight over toys
You can’t break by-laws with impunity
He cites fire risk, access,  mess and sanity.
A by-law on sanity? That gives me pause
Everyone knows there’s no sanity clause.
But that’s why a PC, tree-free Noel is ours
Cos they’ve cancelled Christmas at Dardanelle Towers