You know that feeling when you arrive, travel whacked and jet-lagged  for your holiday hotel or Airbnb and it’s not quite what was promised on the website.

It turns out that “secondary views” of the beach means you can see the building whose residents can see the ocean.

Or “private mini-workspace” is a desk inside the toilet.  Or the gym is an old storeroom containing a clapped-out exercise bike and one dumbbell.

On the other hand, you see a café, a bar or a boutique hotel that you have written off because of a caustic review, only to discover that it’s just your kind of place and the review was written because  a Tripadvisor terrorist didn’t get exactly what they wanted precisely when they wanted it.

With all the review websites, paid influencer posts and customer  comments (sometimes written by the staff) it’s hard to know what’s real and what’s really suss.

So JimmyT has delved into his go-bag of bad experiences and misleading travel advice to offer a guide to decoding the stars from one to five so that you don’t suffer a holiday disappointment.

Also on Mildrover:

Choosy Cruise:  Take the river from Porto to Salamanca in Portugal.  That’s HERE.    

Local Hero: Ecofriendly luxury in the Blue Mountains.  That’s HERE.     

Real Deal: Huge discounts at a stunningly stylish hotel in Paris.  That’s HERE.